Friday, October 30, 2009

Ok, I don't get "crushes" ever any more

But, a while back, I met somebody that works in my building. I have never seen a more genuine smile. He's intelligent and above all very calm. I have learned a couple things since I started thinking he was cool.

1. Don't carry and or eat a snickers bar if you might run into your crush in the elevator. It just doesn't look good. (in my defense, my sugar level was terribly out of balance and I felt like I was going to pass out).
2. Be careful what T-shirt you borrow from your marketing department after you spill coffee on the clean white shirt you wore even though you should know better. (I wasn't thinking. The shirt said LIKEME.NET - It just looks sooooo needy!)

With all the kid stuff going on, dating really isn't a primary focus but I have found myself daydreaming. Somebody to see movies with. Someone over 15 to actually talk to! Somebody to see the occasional cool band with. Someone to listen to after a day's work.

It's been very long time since I have even been interested in someone romantically. I have three jobs. I have kids to tend to. I have to sleep! Now, there is my fascination with Jack Bauer but that's just my imagination. It's safe and there is no risk. To actually try to pursue anything that personal terrifies me. My whole perspective has changed in regard to dating. I used to romanticize everything about relationships. Now I find myself being morbidly realistic. Do they have a job? Do they look at the bright side (or do they even have a bright side) are they able to balance a check book (thank you "insert name here") and above all are they independent enough to not be first in my life?

I still think about the perfect first date. A nice dinner, dessert near a lake shore, maybe spend time at a local club all of which gives us a chance to chat and get to know one another. Then of course there is the inevitable first kiss. After that if all is going well, I could introduce him to my kids and oh yeah


How on earth could I explain that one??????

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