Tuesday, October 20, 2009

my darling G1

I had a really great interaction with my oldest (G1) last night.

I hadn't mentioned it so far but my oldest daughter has Asperberger's Syndrome. Here is a basic wiki definition http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger%27s_Syndrome

What that means to A1 and the rest of our family is that she doesn't interact and react like the rest of us do. Sometimes it is challenging and usually is fabulous. She has a tendency to see things a bit differently and, since she is so capable of sharing her thoughts, I usually end up learning something. I am a lucky Mom!

Last night, A1 (who is an honor student) was having a terrible amount of stress because she got behind on her homework. In these situations, when the rest of us may just hunker down and get done what we can, A1 panics. She ends up doing something that really doesn't help the situation, like surf the net or brush her hair.

I am not a "do this, do that" kind of parent. I practice what I like to call suggestive parenting. My kids seem to really respond to it. This way, I can guide them in their decisions rather than dictate them and when they go out into the world they will be accustomed to accepting their choices and hopefully making good ones. So far so good!

Back to the point. My poor A1 was really freaking out about all the homework she had to do. She was also getting into saying that maybe it was just too much for her. I had never really been this pushy with her but I ended up taking her through her day since she had gotten home. I pointed out how much time she had net surfed and how much time she spent talking about how much she had to do when in fact, she could have been using that time to get some things done. She really is quite amazing because not only did she take my suggestions but she also really stood firm and asserted herself with me. It was like talking to a very confident young adult. We came to the conclusion that making lists each day would be a very helpful method of organization for two reasons:

1. It will keep her tasks straight
2. It will show her that her tasks are not insurmountable

I worry about my A1 probably more than the other two. She seems to need more step-by-step instructions to get through many circumstances but, last night was reassuring.

Wow I love an evening of successful parenting!

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