So, how did single momhood happen for me? To be honest, I thought being married would be the only way I would cease being lonely. I definitely loved him but cannot say for sure there was ever any real trust. That wasn't his fault. I was very insecure. He seemed hooked. I now know those feelings don't make a marriage.
We had our first child within a year of our wedding. We had our second seventeen months later. both of us had low paying office jobs and money (as with most) was always an issue. To keep us afloat I took control of the finances. This led to lots of arguments, hurt feelings and very little enjoyment in regard to parenthood. Looking back, I would have preferred to appreciate my two oldest more. They are really fabulous people.
I think the divorce started to take shape long before he told me he wanted out. Here is where I think it started: He got an internet connection.
I will explain more in my next entry "Addiction - the internet".