It's funny how the more things change the more they stay the same.
I guess I am foolish to think that a few weeks of work will change "What's his name". I really did believe he was more motivated since he had the chance to get out there and work. I was on the phone with my G3 the other day and I asked where he was. She said that he was on the computer "He is fighting monsters so I know I shouldn't bother him". I really hate that the kids need to be that understanding. I mean I have my escapes also. I watch DVDs quite a bit. The thing about that (and I am sticking to my guns on this one) they know that I am there if and when they need me. I tuck in my youngest every night. I attend every meeting and communicate with all the kids teachers. I keep on my oldest about her homework and I shuffle G2 and her friends whenever and wherever is needed. Above all that, they know that when they need to talk to me I am not only available, I want to be there.
It is a weird feeling (one I remember from our marriage) that he is always there but not really there.
I have noticed that many issues in life boil down to prioritizing. As I am growing in my job I have noticed that I realize success much sooner if I am aware of and adhere to the priority of certain tasks. Not all priorities are completely spelled out but as I learn to read the nuances of others I can fit things in properly so that no on is disappointed.
Another example, with the kids, if they know they are important, they seem to respond really well as we live our lives together. It is incredibly hurtful for a child to feel as though they are in the way. It's not to say that I do not make mistakes in that regard, I do. I also try to circle back when I find that I put their feelings or needs on the back burner. I wonder how they could feel the kind of value and confidence they need to have a happy life if their parents don't let them know they are valued and should have confidence.
Something to think about.